Mental Health Plz?

  • Oct. 27th, 2009 at 3:22 PM
Kirk goes batshit insane
So, tomorrow morning is my first appointment with a psychiatrist. I have been off antidepressants for about three weeks because each of the five medications I tried came with debilitating side effects or didn't work. Here's to hoping that they can help my crazy, because lately I don't care if I live or die. I can't accomplish anything, I'm the fattest I've ever been, and I'm fucking miserable. I hope I get better before Luke moves on and I lose all my friends. I'm tired of constant apathy.

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There's a Hole in my Sidewalk.

  • Aug. 28th, 2009 at 10:17 AM
George Michael sad
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson

1) I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost . . . I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in . . . it's a habit. My eyes are open, I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

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photo credit

Imitation Update. See Also: I hate my Life.

  • Aug. 13th, 2009 at 2:51 PM
George Michael sad
Here's what I've been doing/feeling/failing:

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Vanity Post.

  • Jul. 14th, 2009 at 8:35 PM
pinup salute
So I've been dabbling with 50s-style pinup hair and makeup for quite some time, and I don't believe I've ever shared them here. I'm cross-posting this to [info]vintagehair and [info]vintagemakeup, so some are of just hair, some of just makeup.

Disclaimer: This is an epic post. Like, forty pictures or something. Commence vanity, narcissism, self-admiration, etc )

Gah.

  • Jun. 29th, 2009 at 1:16 PM
Taste the happy!
I really need to update this thing.

I really wish I cared enough to update.

Today is a bad anxiety day. Bad bad bad. Too many bad things have happened lately. My thumb is raw and bleeding because I can't stop pulling at it.

I have no motivation to do anything. I wish I could be at home and in bed. I really need some good quality sleep.

This is a completely pointless post, other than to remind people that I am still alive.

OMFG.

  • Jun. 4th, 2009 at 3:42 PM
Spock smug mode
Go do this. NOW.

auto-play FLT )

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I said give me the brandy!
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I'm not actually hungover, but I like this one. At my old job I could admit hangovers to my supervisor. At my new job, I have to swipe a badge through two different doors and then run down a long hall to get to the bathroom to vomit, and I am so terrified of this fact that I refuse to get sloshed on weeknights.

Ah, the days I worked ten yards away from the bathroom and could hide underneath my cubicle desk without anyone knowing...

Daily Photo - Thirtieth. [Oink]

  • Apr. 29th, 2009 at 9:16 AM
Holy Fuck Batman!
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Fool.

  • Apr. 24th, 2009 at 8:48 AM
Clementine sky
Fool.

Words & music by Carl Sigman & James Last, as performed by Elvis Presley

Fool, you didn't have to hurt her
Fool, you didn't have to lose her
Fool, you only had to love her
But now her love is gone

Fool, you could have made her want you
Fool, you could have made her love you
Fool, you only had to love her
But now her love is gone

Gone now, the love and laughter
See yourself the morning after
Can't you see her eyes are misty
As she said good-bye

Fool, you didn't have to hurt her
Fool, you didn't have to lose her
Fool, you only had to love her
But now your love is gone

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Fool, you only had to love her
But now her love is gone

Fool, you could have made her want you
Fool, you could have made her love you
Fool, you only had to love her
But now her love is gone

Fool, you didn't have to hurt her
Fool, you didn't have to lose her
Fool, you only had to love her

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Daily Photo - Twenty-Sixth. [Delicious]

  • Apr. 20th, 2009 at 10:02 AM
come back chocolates
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When I get home, I put on pajamas

  • Apr. 17th, 2009 at 3:21 PM
George Michael & Tobias

"Describe any wardrobe changes you make when you get home from work, school, or your other day activities."



I hate wearing anything that is not stretchy and cotton-y and super comfortable. I spend all day in restrictive (not horribly) clothing, and as soon as I walk through the door I immediately change into my jammies. Right now my jammies consist of this fabulous pair of gray yoga-type pants and a stretched-out unsexy tank top. The pants are unbelievably comfortable. So comfortable that I now hate wearing Luke's scrub bottoms, which used to be my favorite thing to wear.



I only stay in my work clothes, which are business casual, if I'm having someone over or if I'm going to be going out straightaway. I kind of hate any clothes that are not my jammies.

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Think Green.

  • Apr. 17th, 2009 at 3:15 PM
Clementine sky

"What are you doing to help the environment?"



I take the bus when I can, not only because it's better than driving, but because if I have a primo parking space there's no way I'm moving my car. The city buses are free for me to ride, as it's part of my work benefits.



I recycle everything I can - paper, junk mail, cardboard, plastic, cans, glass bottles, etc. I buy organic cat food for my kittehs, because I don't want them getting ill from all the awful shit the cat food companies throw in their "food." I also try to eat vegan or vegetarian as much as I can.



I need to consciously make the effort to be fully vegan again. There's no reason I should be thinking "but it's delicious" when I have the knowledge of exactly how awful animal products are - not only to my health, but the environment and, obviously, the animals.



I turn the lights off when I don't need them, except when I'm going to be out super-late. I try not to waste water - running the dishwasher only when it's full, water off when I'm brushing my teeth, etc.



These are such simple things, but they are easy to do on a daily basis. I'd like the earth to be around for a long time.

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Just bring me my kittehs

  • Apr. 17th, 2009 at 9:45 AM
Crazy cat lady

"You're stuck on an island with plenty of food, a companion, and a relatively stress-free lifestyle. What do you do when the rescue ship comes?"



My kittehs make me happy, and are very entertaining. I would jump at the chance to be deserted on an island with food, my man, and no stress. Any my cats. Lately, even though my life isn't that stressful, I've been longing for a nice long relaxing vacation. Or even a coma.



I have so many little things on my to-do list, but every time I get a free moment my ass is lying down on the couch, watching DVDs. I really wish I had motivation and energy to get things done, but lately I'm having a hard time caring.



Now Plinky made me all wistful and yearning to be deserted on an island.



Oh, I would also need a laptop & wi-fi access. My gossip blogs need me.

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Ipod Touch, please

  • Apr. 16th, 2009 at 4:01 PM
horrifying McCain

What gadget is at the top of your wish list?


iPod touch jailbreak 1.1.3

I want an ipod Touch. They just seem so fun! I need a new mp3 player, and this one's gotten the best reviews on cnet.com and Amazon. I've never owned any Apple products, or used an iPod. I think I should probably visit an Apple store and play with this first before I commit to telling Luke this is what he should get me for my birthday. I'm thinking 16GB, because my music collection is growing everyday. I'm not too sure about the mandatory iTunes8, though. I am an iTunes virgin, and I haven't read pleasant things about iTunes8.



This is officially the most boring Plinky answer ever.

I'm a Lunatic Called Lora.

Learn more about my lunacy later. Just got this bitchin' permanent account and have no time to customize it. Sadface.




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I said give me the brandy!
[info]lorag
Lora..

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